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How Many Manicures Are in a Bottle of Nail Polish?

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If you are anything like me, you have never finished a bottle of nail polish. The bottle turns to gloopy sludge long before you work your way to the end. Still, the question lingers: if I buckled down and committed to a color, how many manicures can I actually get out of a bottle of nail polish?

I decided to investigate.

It's worth starting out by acknowledging the many flaws in my test design. First of all, base coats, top coats, and nail art had to be excluded. Secondly, y'all may not glop your nail polish onto your fingers as inartfully as I do. This would mean that you would use less polish (and also that you would be less likely to to accidentally the smudge the hell out of your manicure, but that's a different story!). Additionally, Julep was the only brand I measured, and they definitely have a thicker formula than, say, a quick-dry nail polish, if that is what you are using, so my findings may not generalize for that reason, as well. (On that same note: Julep's small bottles may have affected the outcome, as larger bottles could be less wasteful.) Still, I carried on!

Did I mention I'm not a nail polish blogger?
I'm reeeeeally not a nail polish blogger.

The first step was to measure how many grams of polish a manicure uses up. To do this, I dumped out a portion of my nail polish bottle into a makeshift tinfoil cup, and measured the mass. Then, I painted my nails, taking care to minimize any potential evaporation, and measured again. Obviously, this is much more wasteful than painting out of the bottle, so I ended up using a few Julep polishes for the deed, since I own so damn many of them.

Here's what I got:

Julep Payton (2 Coats)- 0.548g
Julep Joan (2 Coats)- 0.478g
Julep Mai (2 Coats)- 0.485g
Julep Annie (2 Coats)- 0.420g
Average grams per manicure: 0.483g

The next step was to determine how many grams are in a bottle of nail polish. I sacrificed Julep's AnneMarie to the cause. (Again, I'm pretty much swimming in Julep nail polishes at this point.) I poured out the polish the measured what came out. I considered the bottle to be empty when I held it upside down for thirty seconds and no drips came out.

You know I live on the edge because I attempted this on carpet.
(Mass of the tin foil cup was subtracted to get the final number.)

The contents of the bottle weighed in at 6.172g (This is the equivalent of 0.218oz.) Intuitively, I would expect that the mass of the polish would weigh more than 0.27oz, since nail polish is heavy and the bottle is 0.27 fluid ounces. However, it seems that a lot of that polish simply won't come out of the damn bottle.

6.172/0.483=12.78. Thus, a bottle of Julep nail polish, which contains 0.27 fluid ounces of product, holds about twelve manicures.

However, as we all know, most nail polish bottles are not 0.27 fluid ounces. Indeed, the standard size is 0.5 fluid ounces. (6.172/27)50=11.430. Thus, a standard nail polish bottle probably holds a little closer to 11.430g of product. 11.430/0.483=23.66. Assuming that everything generalizes acceptably, a standard 0.5 fluid ounce bottle of nail polish, then, probably holds something along the lines of twenty three manicures.

Add in your glitter and your nail art and your top coats and all that jazz, though, and I'm out of my league.

Review: Besame Cosmetics Brightening Violet Powder

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Have I mentioned that I love packaging? I LOVE PACKAGING. And damn, Besame Cosmetics has got their shit together on that front.

Besame Brightening Violet Powder is a faintly lilac-colored setting powder that smells like an explosion of florals. It's purported to brighten up sallow complexions. For cool-toned ladies, I think that the slight purple hue is perfectly for cooling down foundations that lean a little bit too yellow.

The cardboard housing the violet powder opens up like origami, revealing gorgeous drawings of violets.


Consistent with Besame's vintage image, the internal packaging is 1940s chic.


Inside, the jar has a little cotton powder puff. This is cute, but functionally worthless, unless you like applying your powder in unwieldy, heavy segments, a little at a time. Still, I feel like this powder-puff is one of the things that sells the "Oh, of course this is vintage!" vibe. This is especially necessary because...


...it covers a totally modern and convenient hunk of plastic with holes for convenience in application.


The color doesn't whack you over the head with it's purple-ness, which means that this is probably wearable for many people. I would especially recommend this for people who are fair, light, or medium-skinned and cool-toned. On darker skin, I suspect that the light color would look ashy. On warmer skin, I think it might cool down your face too much. I feel that the color is so subtle, though, that, for most people, I wouldn't get too scared. Its most evident effect will be leaving your face matte.


Is this literally the most special thing you could ever buy? No. It would not be impossible to get similar results from a different product. However, the quality of the product is great, it feels super fancy thanks to its excellent smell, and the packaging is unparalleled. If you've been eyeing it, I think you should grab it. As Donna and Tom might say, 'Treat yo self!'

Besame Violet Powder on Human Face

The Besame Cosmetics Brightening Violet Powder retails for $22 for 0.21 ounces of product, putting it at a relatively pricey $104.76 per ounce. For comparison, Bare Minerals' Mineral Veil is $20 for 0.3oz, or $66.67 per ounce.

Sephora's January/February 2014 Eyeshadow Palettes by Price Per Ounce

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If you poke around this blog a bit, you've probably heard me say that I view mid-range eyeshadow palettes to be a pretty good deal if they cost less than $100 per ounce. This wasn't based on any math or statistics; it was just my personal feeling about what is and what is not a good deal.

To investigate a little further, I decided to catalog the current Sephora eyeshadow palette offerings by price per ounce. 

I made a couple of decisions that are worth explicitly stating in order to be really clear about my methods. Firstly, I made the decision to ignore small bonuses like mascara samples or mini-eyeliners. For the purposes of this analysis, they have no value. If you want to assign value to them, you can figure out a methodology that seems fair to you. I am only looking at eyeshadow for the time being. On that same note, in order to focus exclusively on the eyeshadow, I completely left out any palettes that contain blush, bronzer, concealer, or products in the palette itself. Additionally, I did not distinguish between cream eyeshadows and powdered eyeshadows for the sake of simplicity. Finally, I distinguished between entries based on whether Sephora has a separate page for the palettes. For example, the Shiseido Luminizing Satin Eye Color Trio has one page on Sephora for 15 color variations. It appears on my list once. On the other hand, Urban Decay's Naked 1, Naked 2, and Naked 3 all appear separately because they each have their own page on the Sephora website.

Without further ado, here is my list of current Sephora eyeshadow palette offerings, from least expensive per ounce, to most expensive per ounce:

1. Make Up For Ever Flash Palette: $99 for 2.46oz, $40.24 per ounce

2. Too Faced Joy to the Girls Eyeshadow Palette: $46 for 0.9oz, $51.11 per ounce

3. Sephora Collection Event Entry Palette: $11 for 0.2oz, $55 per ounce

4. theBalm Shady Lady Volume 3: $39.50 for 0.51oz, $77.45 per ounce

5. Benefit Cosmetics World Famous Neutrals Palette Easiest Nudes Ever: $30 for 0.38oz, $78.95 per ounce

6. Benefit Cosmetics World Famous Neutrals Palette Most Glamorous Nudes Ever: $30 for 0.38oz, $78.95 per ounce

7. Benefit Cosmetics World Famous Neutrals Palette Sexiest Nudes Ever: $30 for 0.38oz, $78.95 per ounce

8. Too Faced the Chocolate Bar Palette: $49 for 0.62oz, $79.03 per ounce

9. Stila In The Know Palette: $39 for 0.49 oz, $79.59 per ounce

10. Stila In The Garden Palette: $39 for 0.49 oz, $79.59 per ounce

11. Stila In The Light Palette: $39 for 0.49 oz, $79.59 per ounce

12. Stila In The Moment Palette: $39 for 0.49 oz, $79.59 per ounce

13.Sephora Collection IT Palette Color Spectrum: $32 for 0.396oz, $80.80 per ounce

14. Sephora Collection IT Palette Glitter: $32 for 0.396oz, $80.80 per ounce 

15. Sephora Collection IT Palette Nude: $32 for 0.396oz, $80.80 per ounce

16. Sephora Collection IT Palette Smoky: $32 for 0.396oz, $80.80 per ounce

17. Urban Decay Naked 1: $52 for 0.6oz, $86.67 per ounce

18. Urban Decay Naked 2: $52 for 0.6oz, $86.67 per ounce

19. Urban Decay Naked 3: $52 for 0.6oz, $86.67 per ounce

20. Clinique All About Shadow Eight-Pan Palette: $36 for 0.41oz, $87.80 per ounce

21. Kat Von D Ladybird Eyeshadow Palette: $36 for 0.4oz, $90 per ounce

22. Kat Von D True Romance Eyeshadow Palette in Beethoven: $36 for 0.4oz, $90 per ounce 

23. Kat Von D True Romance Eyeshadow Palette in Poetica: $36 for 0.4oz, $90 per ounce

24. Kat Von D True Romance Eyeshadow Palette in Saint: $36 for 0.4oz, $90 per ounce

25. Kat Von D True Romance Eyeshadow Palette in Sinner: $36 for 0.4oz, $90 per ounce

26. Urban Decay Naked Basics: $27 for 0.30oz, $90 per ounce

27. Too Faced Pretty Rebel Palette: $46 for 0.5oz, $92 per ounce

28. Josie Maran Argan Beautiful Eyes: $36 for 0.39oz, $92.31 per ounce

29. Too Faced Boudoir Eyes Soft and Sexy Palette: $36 for 0.39oz, $92.31 per ounce

30. Too Faced Matte Eyeshadow Palette: $36 for 0.39oz, $92.31 per ounce

31. Too Faced Natural At Night Palette: $36 for 0.39oz, $92.31 per ounce

32. Too Faced Natural Eye Palette: $36 for 0.39oz, $92.31 per ounce

33. Too Faced Smokey Eye Palette: $36 for 0.39oz, $92.31 per ounce

34. Too Faced The Return of Sexy Palette: $49 for 0.525oz, $93.33 per ounce

35. Kat Von D True Romance Eyeshadow Trio: $24 for 0.25oz, $96 per ounce

36. Smashbox Full Exposure Palette: $49 for 0.49oz, $100 per ounce

37. Sephora Collection Colorful Eyeshadow Portfolio: $599 for 5.6oz, $106.96 per ounce

38. Sephora Collection Sand Illusions Baked Eyeshadow Palette: $15 for 0.138oz, $108.70 per ounce

39. Tarte Beauty and the Box Amazonian Clay Eyeshadow Quad: $22 for 0.2oz, $110 per ounce

40. Urban Decay Ammo Palette: $34 for 0.3oz, $113.33 per ounce

41. Anastasia Beverly Hills Illumin8 With Youthful Synergy Complex Eyeshadow Palette: $30 for 0.252oz, $119.05 per ounce

42. Kat Von D Esperanza Eyeshadow Palette: $36 for 0.28oz, $128 per ounce

43. Anastasia  Beverly Hills She Wears It Well Eyeshadow Palette: $34 for 0.263oz, $129.28 per ounce

44. Buxom Color Choreography Eyeshadow Palette: $36 for 0.26oz, $138.46 per ounce

45. Bobbi Brown Old Hollywood Eye Palette: $75 for 0.519, $144.51 per ounce

46. Bare Minerals READY Eyeshadow 8.0: $40 for 0.28oz, $142.86 per ounce

47. BECCA  Ultimate Eye Color Quad: $40 for 0.28oz, $142.86 per ounce

48. Sephora Collection Moonshadow Baked Palette in In The Dark: $27 for 0.17oz, $158.82 per ounce

49. Sephora Collection Moonshadow Baked Palette in In The Nude: $27 for 0.17oz, $158.82 per ounce

50. Sephora Collection Moonshadow Baked Palette in In The Tropics: $27 for 0.17oz, $158.82 per ounce

51. Illamasqua Complement Palette: $46.50 for 0.29oz, $160.34 per ounce

52. Urban Decay Smoked Eyeshadow Palette: $49 for 0.3oz, $163.33 per ounce

53. Illamasqua 4-Colour Liquid Metal Palette: $46.50 for 0.28oz, $166.07 per ounce

54. Illamasqua Paranormal Palette: $46.50 for 0.28oz, $166.07 per ounce

55. Clinique All About Shadow Quad: $28 for 0.16oz, $175 per ounce

56. NARS NARSissist Eyeshadow Palette: $79 for 0.45oz, $175.56 per ounce

57. Bare Minerals READY Eyeshadow 4.0: $30 for 0.17oz, $176.47 per ounce

58. Yves Saint Laurent Ombres 5 Lumieres 5 Colour Harmony for Eyes: $59 for 0.29oz, $200 per ounce

59. Make Up For Ever Black Tango Palette: $45 for 0.2oz, $225 per ounce

60. Bobbi Brown Nude Eye Palette: $50 for 0.22oz, $227.27 per ounce

61. Illamasqua Fundamental Palette: $46.50 for 0.2oz, $232.50 per ounce

62. Illamasqua Neutral Palette: $46.50 for 0.2oz, $232.50 per ounce

63. Illamasqua Reflection Palette: $46.50 for 0.2oz, $232.50 per ounce

64. Smashbox Photo Op Eye-Enhancing Palette - Blue Eyes:$40 for 0.16oz, $243.75 per ounce

65. Smashbox Photo Op Eye-Enhancing Palette - Brown Eyes:$40 for 0.16oz, $243.75 per ounce

66. Smashbox Photo Op Eye-Enhancing Palette - Hazel Eyes:$40 for 0.16oz, $243.75 per ounce

67. Marc Jacobs Style Eye-Con No.7 Plush Shadow Palette: $59 for 0.24oz, $245.83 per ounce

68. Guerlain Ecrin 4 Couleurs Eyeshadow Palette: $60 for 0.24oz, $250 per ounce

69. Dior 3 Couleurs Smoky Read-to-Wear Eye Palette: $48 for 0.19oz, $252.63 per ounce

70. Edward Bess Prismette Eyeshadow Quad: $68 for 0.25oz, $272 per ounce

71. Marc Jacobs Style Eye-Con No.3 Plush Shadow: $42 for 0.14oz, $300 per ounce

72. Yves Saint Laurent Pure Chromatics 4 Wet and Dry Eyeshadows: $55 for 0.18oz, $305.56 per ounce

73. Shiseido Luminizing Satin Eye Color Trio: $33 for 0.1oz, $330 per ounce

74. Guerlain Ecrin 6 Couleurs Eyeshadow Palette: $86 for 0.25oz, $344 per ounce

75. Bobbi Brown Sequin Shimmer Brick For Eyes: $48.50 for 0.14oz, $346.43 per ounce

76. Lancome Color Design 5 Shadow and Liner Palette: $50 for 0.141oz, $354.61 per ounce

77. Dior 5 Couleurs Couture Colour Eyeshadow Palette: $61 for 0.17oz, $358.82 per ounce

78. Dolce and Gabbana The Eyeshadow Smooth Eye Colour Quad: $59 for 0.16oz, $368.75 per ounce

79. Givenchy Le Prisme Eyeshadow Quartet: $57 for 0.14oz, $407.14 per ounce

80. Givenchy Le Prisme Yeux Colour and Shine for Metallic Eyes: $57 for 0.14oz, $414.29 per ounce

81. Givenchy Ecrin Prive: $73 for 0.72oz, $1013.89 per ounce

Mean: $169.10 per ounce
Median: $119.05 per ounce

Visually represented the data looks something like this:

Graph of Sephora Eyeshadow Palette Price per Ounce. Note that I smooshed the end together so the graph goes straight from 420 to 1000.

Looking at this graph, it is clear that the data is positively skewed (Skewness=3.4). Mid-range brands seem to be primarily normally distributed, with a peak around $80-$100 per ounce. Combined with an overall median of $119.05 per ounce, this data seems to support the idea that your eyeshadow palette is a decent deal if it is $100 per ounce or less.

Normally, when we talk about makeup, we talk about "drugstore brands", "mid-range brands", and "high-end brands". This data, though, seems to show a slightly different story. In between the "mid-range brands", like Too Faced, theBalm, Benefit, Stila, and Kat Von D, which seem to cost less than $180 per ounce, and the "high-end brands", like Marc Jacobs, Dior, and Givenchy, which seem to start around $300 per ounce, is a whole separate category between $200 and $280 per ounce that straddle the line. Brands like Illamasqua, Bobbi Brown, and Smashbox seem to be in their own intermediate range. (This kind of surprised me, since I usually think of these brands as being on the pricey-er side of mid-range.) I intend on seeing if this same sort of pattern arises for other products like lipstick, blush, and eyeshadow singles in future blog posts.

Julep February 2014 Review

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A Prequel to the Review

Before I begin reviewing February's box, I feel the need to explicitly acknowledge a change in Julep's subscription model. In the past, one of the selling points of Julep is that you can skip whenever you want. If you subscribed before December 18th, that hasn't changed. If you subscribed after December 18th... well, that sucks. You now can only skip every six months. This is a huge bummer for people who might not have the budget to spend $20 every single month on nail polish. I do understand the change in policy (my guess is that they have a lot of people who skip every single month, and then take advantage of Julep's sales and free shipping by every-so-often ordering something that costs, like, a dollar), but I think that they could have allowed more flexibility than one skip per six months. Maybe a rule like 'you can't skip twice in a row' or something like that. I also really don't like the way that they handled the change; I think they should have given fair warning to people who were considering subscribing by letting people know, "Our policy will change in one week" or something like that, so that people could still scramble to subscribe under the old rules. I also really don't like the fact that they are framing the change as "simplifying the skip feature" when anyone who looks at the situation understands that "I can skip whenever I want" is more simple than "I can earn skips by not skipping boxes some months and not skipping a box earns me a credit for 1/6 of a box skip at some later date." We all understand why you are change the skip feature, Julep. Pretending it's "simplifying" things is insulting our intelligence. It's not necessarily an unreasonable change, but please be honest. The final thing that rubs me the wrong way about the change is that, as far as I know, people who subscribed between December 18th and the announcement on January 16th did not get any warning that they were signing up for something different than what they thought they were signing up for. If you happen to be in that boat, I would strongly recommend emailing Julep's customer service and requesting that you be given the "old" skipping rules.

I've also been asked to comment on Julep's new Plie wand, a magnetic attachment to the Julep nail polishes that will allow a lot more dexterity when painting nails. I think it's an awesome idea and I look forward to its release in May. The two commonly expressed complaints are that 1. They are asking people to "crowdfund" the project by pre-ordering their May boxes now and 2. If you want to use it on any pre-May 2014 Julep polishes, you'll need to order new magnetic caps for your old polishes. To me, these are non-issues. Although Julep is asking you to pre-order your box... you can just not do it. I'm not pre-ordering, and I fully expect that I will have access to the Plie wand when it is released. If you don't want to pre-order, don't do it. The magnetic caps issue doesn't bother me for similar reasons: just don't buy any new caps. Starting in May 2014, all of Julep's caps will work with the Plie wand. Julep caps pop off the brushes. You can just pop one of your new magnetic caps on an old polish and it will be compatible. It's an extra two seconds of work. If the Plie wand is effective, you'll still be coming out ahead.

Aaaand the Review Starts Here

As has been my habit, I upgraded my box this month. Like always, I want to note that I wouldn't upgrade if I was paying out of pocket, since the super-mondo-why-so-fucking-big box I chose would have been a whopping SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS if I paid for it flat. But I used points, which means you readers have way more shit to look at. I don't know which box I would have chosen if I'd picked one of the typical $20 boxes.

Here is what I got:

My box included ten nail polishes, a gel liner, an angled brush, four "Eye Sheen" liquid eyeshadows, and a shader brush. I divided up the review below in case you happen to be interested in only some of those topics.


Nail Polish

Although Julep has expanded their box selection significantly in recent months, there are still four boxes that I would consider the "core boxes", which provide all of the polishes for the month: Boho Glam, Classic With a Twist, Bombshell, and It Girl; the former three have two polishes and a product, whereas It Girl has three polishes. That adds up to nine polishes in an upgrade. This month, Julep threw in an extra Valentines-day themed polish called "Love" in each box, meaning that my upgrade contained ten polishes.


The ten polishes--


Octavia (Classic With a Twist): A "smokey indigo crème".
Greta (Classic With a Twist): A "loganberry multidimensional microglitter".
Judi (Bombshell): An "English violet crème".


Roc Solid (It Girl): A "vintage military crème".
Glam Roc (It Girl): A "midnight purple and gold stardust [with] matte glitter".
Diamond Theory (It Girl): A "full-coverage multidimensional copper glitter".


Rooney (Boho Glam): A "walnut bark crème".
Kristen (Bombshell): A "deep sea teal with silver microshimmer".
Cameron (Boho Glam): A "silver lilac stardust [with] matte glitter".


Love: This was a bonus item billed as "Jane's gift" that was included in every box. It is a described as a "gold, pearl and fuchsia microglitter". This is my favorite polish in the box; I think it is beautiful. I also love that they added a gold cap (instead of the traditional black caps) to mix things up.

Here is my super-messy-I-can't-do-nail-polish-where-is-that-damn-Plie-wand-when-you-need-it manicure with Octavia and Love:


Eyeliner

The Julep Ink Gel Eyeliner is much softer than any gel eyeliner I've used in the past. It ends up feeling like a cross between a gel liner and a liquid liner. I actually kind of love this product. The Julep Kajal Pencil liner was a total disaster, so I didn't expect anything more from the gel liner. This is super easy to apply, black as my soul, and dries to a matte, charcoal-like finish.

If you feel that you have to work hard to get crisp lines with gel liner and that liquid liner is too easy to accidentally get in your eyelashes, this might be a good solution for you.


Julep is selling this sucker for $22 for 0.15 oz for non- Mavens [people who are not subscribed to the subscription service] ($146.67 per ounce) and $17.60 for Mavens ($117.33 per ounce). For comparison, MAC Fluidline retails for $16 for 0.1oz ($160 per ounce). I think that the price is totally fair, especially given that the quality is high and the product is a little different from most of the other gel liners on the market (because it is so wet).


I was also sent an angled liner brush to go with the gel liner. I thought that this product was pretty nice, as well. The bristles are really sleek, so it makes very clean lines, and it is small enough that you can go pretty thin, if need be. Do you necessarily need this, given the price ($18.00 non-Mavens, $14.50 Mavens)? Probably not. But Julep offers a good brush/eyeliner duo and gives you a discount, it works very nicely with the gel liner.

Just be careful to clean out the bristles after each use. Once the liner dries on the brush, it's a bit of a pain to get out!


Eyeshadow

I also got four "Eye Sheens". After the Julep Sweep Eyeshadow palette from December turned out to be unprecedentedly fantastic, I was really excited to try what I assumed were cream eyeshadows from Julep. (The reason that I ungraded to such a ridiculous extent was because this was the only box that gave me the option of trying all four Eye Sheens.)


The Eye Sheens retail for $18.00 for the general population and $14.50 for Mavens and contain 0.15oz of product. That means that they cost $120 per ounce for non-Mavens and $96.67 per ounce for Mavens. This is actually not particularly expensive. For comparison, the Benefit Creaseless Cream Eyeshadows are $20 for 0.16oz, or $125 per ounce. (Although, true to form, Julep unnecessarily packaged the shadows in ridiculously large boxes.)

To pair with the shadows, Julep also sent out their eye shader brush. The brush is too small, stiff, and strangely shaped to be great for powder shadows and it's totally rubbish at blending, but it works pretty nicely for slapping on some Eye Sheens.


The Eye Sheens were totally not what I was expecting at all. I was expecting the texture of a traditional cream eyeshadow. They are labeled as "liquid eyeshadows", although they are not liquid. In terms of consistency, they are really more along the lines of a "pudding eyeshadow". Here's what it looks like when I lightly pat the top of one of the shadows with the shading brush:

Patting Julep's Deep Bronze Shimmer.

In other words, WHAT THE FUCK.

Happily, the actual effect is kind of fabulous. A single swipe of product is incredibly pigmented. It dries quickly and, once it dries, it stays put. Cream products are usually a little more likely to slip and slide around; these definitely will not.

The four Eye Sheen shades are as follows:

Dusty Taupe Shimmer is a pink-toned taupe.
Pale Nude Shimmer is a light golden color.
Deep Bronze Shimmer is dark bronze akin to a very dirty penny.
Warm Fig Shimmer is a medium-dark dusty purple.

From left to right: Dusty Taupe, Pale Nude, Deep Bronze, and Warm Fig

The one disadvantage of their serious staying power is that these require a bit of patience to really blend. (I actually think the promo photo on Julep's blog here has kind of terrible blending going on, so even Julep had trouble getting them blended out appropriately.) It's not impossible to do, but I can see it being really frustrating for people who aren't very comfortable with eyeshadow. If that's you, I would recommend using the Eye Sheen on your lid and choosing a traditional powder eyeshadow for your crease. Just for your sanity.

Time to see how all this shit looks on my face!

This look has Pale Nude Shimmer on my lid, Deep Bronze Shimmer on my crease, and the Julep Ink Gel Eyeliner as a tightline:


This look has Dusty Taupe Shimmer on my lid, Warm Fig Shimmer in my crease, and the Julep Ink Gel Eyeliner as a chunky wing:


Overall, I am happy with this box. The nail polish colors are all pretty and the eyeshadows look lovely, even if they are a bit of a pain to work with. The Ink Gel Eyeliner, though, was definitely the shining star of this box!

If you decide that subscribing to Julep would give you oodles of joy, you are always welcome to use my referral link by clicking here.

Review: Hourglass Ambient Lighting Blush in Radiant Magenta

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Hourglass is a brand that is right at the far end of my "I can totally justify this purchase even though I already own eighteen million makeup products" price range. It is something that I can probably afford, but also something that I usually have to think pretty long and hard on. (Side note: those of you who didn't snigger at the words "hard on" get your official 'I am an adult" membership card in the mail in three to five business days.)

Thus, it's not really a surprise that I have been waffling about purchasing an Hourglass Ambient Lighting Powder for months now. (Do I want 'Ethereal light'? Why does it seem like that is the most boring color? Do I want 'Diffused light'? Why is it so yellow? Why is 'Mood light' so obviously way-too-fucking-dark? Won't it be like painting my face in blush? Why do I somehow feel that buying one of these powders will somehow magically make my skin look perfect, even though that defies all logic?) What is more surprising, though, is that the second the Hourglass Ambient Lighting Blushes went on sale, the Ambient Lighting Powders that had been waiting patiently in my cart were tossed aside because NEW NEW NEW NEW.


As I was waiting for my order, I had to beat myself up a little bit. Prima facie, nothing stands out about why these blushes are so perfect and flawless that they are way better than anything else in my embarrassingly extensive collection. What's more, the marbled appearance is, in my opinion, a little silly looking. Every single one of these suckers reminds me very strongly of bacon. (Seriously. Tell me that Diffused Heat doesn't look like breakfast meat.)


When my package arrived, I did what any sensible makeup-lover would do: I stuck my finger in it.


Looking at the color on my finger, I was forced to acknowledge the truth. THIS. BLUSH. IS. SORCERY. Look how pretty that shit is!


This blush is a coral-y, golden-y, pink-y mix of luminousness. It's the right amount of pigmented-- pigmented enough that you're not scraping your brush against the pan screaming, "I. WANT. CORAL. CHEEKS. DAMNIT.", but subtle enough that it's easy to use. It blends well. The mix of shades adds visible complexity. The gorgeous finish makes your face look magic.


My only complaint is that Hourglass seems to have absolutely no idea what color "magenta" is. 


At $35 for 0.15oz, the Hourglass Ambient Lighting Blushes come in at a oh-my-god-this-is-as-expensive-as-a-motherfucker $233.33 per ounce. (Even the Dior blushes, at $42 for 0.25oz, are only $175 per ounce.) Unfortunately for me, they're totally worth it. I not-so-secretly am now coveting every single one.

Review: Maybelline Color Tattoo in Tough As Taupe

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If the internet is to be believed, Maybelline's Color Tattoo in Tough as Taupe will solve a huge percentage of your makeup-related problems. It's billed as an eyeshadow, but internet-y people proclaim its efficacy for both contouring and for filling in eyebrows. Reports make it sounds so magical that I had to buy it and figure out if it deserves any love as a cheap-as-a-motherfucker option for products you don't frequently find at the drugstore.


If you have never had a Color Tattoo, you should know that they come in little glass pots. You can either stick your fingers right in the products like a finger-painting toddler and/or me, or you can be an adult and use a brush.


The product is cool-toned as fuck and extremely opaque. It almost reads more like a purple-ish gray than a taupe color, although there is definitely some taupe-y brown to be found when you blend it out a little bit. The texture is very firm and dry. It feels almost like you are using slightly-dried out clay as a beauty product.


I divided my review into each of the potential purposes for this product:

Tough as Taupe as Eyeshadow

Given that Maybelline is advertizing this as a part of their "Eyestudio" line, one would imagine that this ought to make a pretty kickass eyeshadow. And... well... it's fine. There's nothing wrong with it. The color is just boring as hell! The good news is that if you like the color, it has excellent pigmentation, it's not unreasonably difficult to blend, and it has very good staying power for a cream eyeshadow.

Maybelline's Tough as Taupe as Eyeshadow

Tough as Taupe for Contouring

The next possible function of this product is contouring! There is a serious dearth of acceptable drugstore contouring products. Contouring has exploded in popularity thanks to the internet machine, but most good taupe-y contouring products are mid-range or high-end. As a result, people who are contouring with drugstore products are frequently using bronzer as a contour. The fact is, that is just not the most flattering contour option on most people. Although I do suspect that drugstore brands will "catch up", for the time being, most drugstore buyers are up shit creek without a paddle if they want a natural-looking contour. I was hoping that this product might help fill that gap.

Tough as Taupe is a good level-of-coolness to work as a contour. Unfortunately, it is very dark. (Scroll up, check out that swatch again, and imagine that swiped across your cheek in a big line!) It takes the subtlest hand of all time to get the right amount of product on your face. And, even then, blending is really patchy and tricky. I imagine that women with darker skin than I (medium skin would be preferable) will like this better than I do, but you can make it work on fair skin with a little invested effort. However, no matter what your skintone, it is so difficult to work with that I would not recommend this to anyone who is thinking, "Hm. Contouring. That is something I should try for the first time!". This would probably be best for people who are really experienced with contouring, but can't fit their chosen contour product into their budget anymore.

I don't hate it as a contour. I actually like the final effect, even though I feel that I have to struggle a little to get there. When I travel, I like to use products that don't need brushes (so I can pack less) and that are cheap enough that I don't care if I lose them. This has been the contour product I grabbed on my last few trips out-of-town. It's not a solution to the lack of acceptable drugstore contouring products, but it is definitely something that can work for the right people in the right circumstances.

Maybelline's Tough as Taupe as a Contour

Tough as Taupe for Eyebrows 

Finally, I frequently hear that this is a great option for filling in light brown eyebrows. For those of you who don't already know, I am a really big fan of cream eyebrow products because I find them really easy to work with. Thus, Tough as Taupe won some extra points for that alone.

Sadly, this didn't work for me at all. Although my skin leans cool, my hair is pretty warm-toned. As a result, Tough as Taupe is too gray; it just reads as "gray eyebrows" when I use it. It fills the brows in nicely and it is easy to use, so if you have very cool-toned hair, it might be a decent choice for you.

Here's how I look with no eyebrow product on:

No Eyebrows

Here is how I look with Tough as Taupe filling in my brows:

Maybelline's Tough as Taupe as a Brow Filler

For me, this product comes close, but is a miss on all three potential uses. I definitely think that there are people who this can work for. If you like the eyeshadow color and/or think that it will go nicely with your other cream eyeshadows, you might want to pick it up as a shadow. If you are medium-toned and experienced in contouring, it might work well as a contour product. And, last but not least, if you have very cool-toned light brown hair, you might like this as an eyebrow product. If you're not one of those people, I think it's less likely that you will find that it suits your purposes. (Still, it is inexpensive enough that for most budgets, it won't be a huge regret, even if you don't love it!)

Maybelline Eye Studio Color Tattoos retail for $6.99 for 0.14oz, putting them at $49.93 per ounce.

Review: bareMinerals READY Eyeshadow 2.0 Duo in Epiphany

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If BareMinerals foundation was a supervillain, we would be sworn arch-nemeses.The foundation is so bad on me (and for some reason, I keep thinking it might not be bad. I have bought it like three times and every time, I hated it. It's like the potato salad of foundations. People like it and it sounds like something I would like, so I keep trying it and ending up unhappy.) that it has apparently soured my entire perspective of the brand. It honestly never even occurred to me to try any of their other products.

Someone recently passed along a bareMinerals eyeshadow duo mini in Epiphany and was like, "Uh, you should try this shit. I know you hate their foundation, but some of their products are pretty good." My hopes weren't overwhelmingly high...


...Except then, I swatched it. HOLY FUCKING FUCK FUCK. WHY ARE THESE EYESHADOWS SO EXCELLENT. WHY DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME THIS.

Putting your brush in this eyeshadow duo is like putting your brush in butter... except that putting your brush in butter would be kind of disgusting, and this is the exact opposite of disgusting. This is a magical and spiritual experience that will enrich your life with its pure smoothness and pigmentation. In terms of raw eyeshadow quality, this is definitely one of the best eyeshadows that I have ever used. 


Because that is the definition of a duo, the product contains two eyeshadow colors: A-ha and Foreshadow. (Honestly, with 'the Epiphany' as the product name, I think those shade names are pretty darn cute!) Aha is a frosty, golden light brown and Foreshadow is a matte, warm dark brown. Both products are pigmented as a motherfucker.


Applying them a total breeze given their smoothness and ease of blendability.


One of the only faults of the READY eyeshadows is that the color selection is a little bit limited. I lean towards more dramatic eyeshadow options and these are very tame, as a whole. (There's just a few brighter colors. I ended up jumping on the last of "The Wild Thing" quads and, happily, the quality seems to be just as good as this duo. I'll have a full review in the future. I'm still playing with it, for now.)

I have a feeling I am going to be collecting bareMinerals eyeshadow like I collect...

...

...eyeshadow. Hm. Maybe that wasn't a very good analogy. 

The other slight downside to bareMinerals shadows, unfortunately, is the price. At $20 for 0.1oz, they come in steeper-than-average at $200 per ounce. The quads are $30 for 0.17oz ($176 per ounce) and the eight-pan palettes are $40 for 0.28oz ($143 per ounce). All of those lean at least a little bit higher than I might wish. However, if it turns out that the absurdly amazing quality is consistent, I'm personally not going to get huffy about a slightly higher pricepoint.

Don't Put Lemon On Your Face, Even If Birchbox Tells You To

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Caitlin writes, "Hey Robyn, would you be willing to do a post talking about birchbox advocating the use of citrus fruits on the undereye area? It's in this month's feb teaser..."

If you don't want to watch the whole thing, the offending suggestion takes place at 5:40.



The claim is that lemons are a natural diuretic, and thus that putting lemon juice under your eyes is somehow a good idea for reducing undereye puffiness.

Okay, first of all, what is a diuretic? A diuretic is a substance that increases the production of urine. Typically, they are used to treat serious medical conditions like heart failure or kidney disease. Because the skin around your eyes is very thin, slight differences in fluid levels will affect this area more significantly. The idea, then is that a diuretic will drain the extra fluid in your eye-area, leaving you with model-perfect undereyes.

Not for faces.
Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/67502676@N00/2119107500/in/photolist-4efYQd-dxLJxa-f4rsbz-6o65SC-5DdTwP-9C8wLZ-e6oNp1-5WDaqg-4hdqbb-ygfm2-ygfmK-4XBoxM-9maFbo-8cmdF4-84zAdp-dgSM7U-bup5Jf-3mt5FK-bvCtDJ-xY8G-fspjP8-aaWzJb-a285L4-4RNh5N-7vBo1P-8JSwiB-7WrJQS-hPjdJe-hPiof3-7zWCe5-aT2e4x-aT2ch2-hv4gm7-7qrDRf-7qnHAi-632DKW-8b9muQ-4yooET-cCC8iu-rthBE-cXzbFq-ds3Rv8-ds3Rs4-ds41vd-8sLqZu-5cqWMF-aD9fYs-81kAfR-5k5Ve5-5JVz8k-5LE2KH

Lemon juice does indeed have a mild diuretic effect.There are a lot of different diuretic mechanisms and I can't find a reliable source on the mechanism of lemon juice in particular. However, regardless of the specific mechanism, lemon juice's (very, very, very slight) diuretic effect is when consumed. Putting it on your face isn't going to do much of anything. 

There are also serious risks to putting citrus on your face. Putting citrus on your face can cause a phototoxic reaction called phytophotodermatitis, an inflammatory reaction that results in bruise-like hyperpigmentation, with the potential for nasty-looking blisters. It's often mistaken for chemical burns. This is not only an ineffective treatment for undereye bags, it is downright dangerous.

I'm guessing that Birchbox made this video using the assumption that lemons are natural and therefore can't be harmful. Remember, though, to do your research before sticking random crap on your face.

Review: Sleek i-Divine Ultra Mattes Version 1 Brights Palette

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I have been pretty consistently impressed by Sleek makeup. Although the products are rarely perfect, their quality pretty much always outstrips their inexpensive pricepoint. For color addicts, the Sleek Ultra Mattes Brights palette is the perfect example of their kickassery.


The palette contains twelve matte-as-hell shades that generally fall into the "bright" color range, with a couple of exceptions. In theory, this palette doesn't ship to the United States because it uses color additives that are not eye-approved in the US. Still, for what it's worth, I have never had problems with Sleek refusing to ship things I ordered. It's up to you, of course, to research and determine if you feel comfortable using non-FDA-approved color additives. It's also up to you, ethically, to decide how you feel about using a product that is maybe-a-little-not-100%-legal.


The colors are very soft and, as a rule, pigmented (with a few exceptions). However, it should be noted that, if you drop this, it will shatter. Some palettes can take a little bit of abuse; this cannot. (Hence a few of my shades being lumpy and not-so-pretty!) I wouldn't throw this in my carry-on, if I were you.


Like any bright, matte shade, you're not going to have a fuckload of luck with these guys unless you wear them over a white base. Still, they look pretty nice when swatches, even primer-and-base-free!

The colors are as follows:

As always, two swipes, no primer.
From left to right: Chill, Pout, Sugarlite, Dragonfly, Pucker, Bamm!
Chill is the color of the sky on a really awesome vacation.
Pout is a saturated hot pink.
Sugarlite is a cool-toned purple that is halfway in between a "medium" and a "pastel". It is one of the weaker colors in terms of pigmentation, but it still looks pretty good over a white base.
Dragonfly is a cool, forest-y medium green.
Pucker is another hot pink. It's a little bit redder than Pout, but it is unnecessarily similar.
Bamm! is a Big Bird yellow. It is very impressive in terms of saturation.

Two swipes, no primer.
From left to right: Cricket, Bolt, Strike, Floss, Crete, Pow!

Cricket is a yellow-leaning grassy green.
Bolt is the color of blue glass cleaner.
Strike is a Crayola-esque orange.
Floss is the worst shade in terms of pigmentation. It's still very soft, but it leans more sheer than its fellow shades. Plus, the pastel pink doesn't seem to fit in with the "brights" theme.
Crete is a light slate gray.
Pow! is a lovely white.

If this palette were perfect, I would have subbed out either Pout or Pucker for a shade that is not already included in the palette, I would have picked something else in place of Floss, and Sugarlite would have been pigmented as hell. And if I paid $30+ for this palette, those things might make me a little grumpy. At a $10 pricepoint, though, all you can do is shrug your shoulders. That'll do, pig. That'll do.

Here are a few looks I've done with the Sleek Ultra Mattes V2 Palette:


The Sleek i-Divine palettes retail for $9.99 for 0.36oz of product, putting it a breezily cheap $27.75 per ounce. This makes it perfect for people who are just trying to incorporate color into their eyeshadow for the first time, because you didn't make a huge financial commitment if you decide, "JUST KIDDING. I HATE GREEN." It's great quality, though, so it is a good investment for color-fanatics of all levels of experience. PURPLE, RED, AND ORANGE FOR EVERYONE!

There's WHAT in My Toothpaste?: Seven Minerals In Your Bathroom

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This guest post was written by Amanda Reynolds, a structural geologist and a personal friend of mine.

If you're anything like me, you love to read the labels on your beauty products. (Alternatively, maybe you don't and I'm just an oddball who needs a constant source of entertainment while I brush my teeth.) Still, ever since I became a geologist, ingredient labels on everything from sunscreen to eyeshadow became even more interesting. A secret code of chemical names was unlocked; I noticed that the minerals I had to memorize for my weekly quizzes in undergrad were also in my every day products and supplies. So, what minerals are in your health and beauty supplies?

Here are seven of the most common:

Calcite (CaCO3)


Calcite
Source: http://www.windows2universe.org/earth/geology/images/calcite.jpg

Calcite, also known as Calcium Carbonate, is a heavy hitter in a wide range of health and beauty products. In its natural forms, it is found in limestone, chalk, and marble. In our bathrooms, it's in everything from toothpaste, where it is used as an abrasive, to lipstick, where it adds a glossy finish. It's also added to body and face powders to absorb moisture. In our medicine cabinet, it's the primary ingredient of most chewable antacids like Tums or Rolaids. In our pockets and purses, it's sometimes the white powder on a stick of gum. You can't escape from calcite even if if you shun personal care products, since calcite is just about everywhere in the modern world. Heck, it's even in the cement and plaster that make up our buildings!

 Fluorite (CaF2)


Fluorite
Source: http://skywalker.cochise.edu/wellerr/mineral/fluorite/6fluorite-douglass95.jpg

Fluorite, or Calcium Fluoride, is another mineral frequently used in toothpaste. Naturally, you might see it in the pockets or veins of large deposits associated with igneous rocks or hydrothermal activity. Although you are most likely to see "sodium fluoride" listed on the product label, fluorite is usually the source. Fluorite is processed to produce sodium fluoride via the addition of sulfuric acid. Furthermore, fluorite in its unedited form can also be included as another abrasive ingredient.

Mica


Muscovite
Source: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/26/Muscovite-Albite-122887.jpg

You'll notice that I didn't list a chemical formula for mica. Micas are actually a large mineral family with long, unwieldy formulas that cause early geology majors to weep during exams. So, although you might see "calcium carbonate" on an ingredients label, you probably won't see "Potassium Aluminum Silicon Oxide". You'll just see "Micas". However, the most common variety of mica is called muscovite, which is a light colored mineral that is one of the most commonly used in everyday applications. In nature, it's typically found in a wide variety of igneous rocks. If you're ever looking at a rock (Yeah, I know. I'm the only one...) and you see some sparkle, that's likely mica.

Mica is another mineral that can show up in toothpaste as an abrasive, but you are more likely to see it in your powders and blushes. After all, it's been used in makeup since pretty much forever. When muscovite is ground to a powder it transforms into a glittery, shimmery substance, which is perfect for makeup products that are intended to give your skin a glowy appearance. Muscovite and other micas are found in most types of makeup, be they blush or eye shadow, creams or lipsticks. You can even find mica in your delicately sparkly nail polishes. Additionally, some mineral makeup products are comprised of pure mica powders. Companies that manufacture these products claim that mica-based makeup is less likely to irritate your skin and clog your pores.

Rutile (TiO2)


Rutile
Source: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bd/Rutile-122157.jpg

Chances are you've never seen "rutile" on your ingredients label, but I bet you have seen "titanium dioxide". This is another popular ingredient to show up in toothpastes and, again, it is used as an abrasive agent. (Are we brushing our teeth with rocks? Yes!) This is also another mineral that is naturally found in hydrothermal settings. However, it can also be synthesized in the lab by breaking down a different mineral called ilmenite (FeTiO3).

Outside of toothpaste, you're likely to find titanium dioxide in your sunscreen. Titanium dioxide is very effective at blocking UVA and UVB rays and, as a result, it is one of the most popular active ingredients for physical sunscreens. You might also see in listed as an ingredient in lotions. This is sometimes for the SPF effect, but it is also used for pigmentation, since titanium dioxide is bright white pigment. (If you check out your kitchen cabinet, you'll find that it is a common food additive as well. You can find it listed on most red-colored candies. It's also used to make Oreo filling white. Science is delicious!)

Quartz (SiO2)


Quartz
Source: http://www.mineralminers.com/images/phantom-quartz/polx/phqp178.jpg

Quartz is also known as silicon dioxide and it is usually listed on ingredient labels as "silica". It is... Well, it's everywhere! First of all, it's what sand is made of. Given that it is one of the most common minerals on the planet, it stands to reason it's going to be in a crapload of our personal care products. In a use that is probably no longer surprising at this point in the list, silica can be found in your toothpaste, both as an abrasive (in its gentler, amorphous form) and as a thickener. It is also used in powders to help "flow". (In other words, to keep them from clumping).

Outside of the makeup counter, you can even find colloidal silica used in beer and wine production as a fining agent. And, as any geologist worth their halite (salt!) can tell you, beer is everything.

Hematite (FeO3)


Hematite
Source: http://skywalker.cochise.edu/wellerr/mineral/hematite/6hematite-oolitic742.jpg

This mineral is typically listed on labels as "iron oxides". (There are more iron oxides than just hematite, but it is the most common.) Iron oxides are a very commonly occurring group of minerals in just about any setting, but they are more common in areas with moisture. They are used to give make up with a red, orange, yellow, brown, or, on occasion, black tint. You'll find hematite and other iron oxides in lipsticks, eye shadows, blushes, bronzers... the whole gamut!

Talc (Mg3Si4O10(OH)2)


Talc
Source: http://www.beg.utexas.edu/mainweb/publications/graphics/talc400.jpg

Talc is a mineral you've probably heard of, whether you realized it was a mineral or not. Anyone who has ever used talcum powder, for example, has come into contact with talc. It's the softest known mineral, meaning that it grinds into a very fine powder. Consequentially, it is excellent for smoothing the skin and absorbing excess moisture. So, not only does it make an appearance in most body powders, you can find it in a great deal of face powders as well, particularly in those that tout oil controlling properties.

If you visit a natural history museum, you've probably oogled gorgeous minerals displayed in luxurious glass cases. Seeing rocks in such a formal setting can cause us to forget that these simple minerals are actually highly utilized, much-needed components of the products we use every single day. They touch our lives when we use makeup, toothpaste, ceramics, electronics, and many other products. Providing a comprehensive list of the minerals that surround us would be far too long to fit into a blog post, but I hope this incomplete list gave you something to ponder next time you brush your teeth.

(Limerick) Review: Benefit High Beam

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In honor of Valentine's Day, I decided to unleash my inner poet. Unfortunately, my inner poet isn't exactly Sappho. 

With cheekbones too ill-ly defined
One's face can feel, frankly, resigned
To canvas that's flat
Or cheeks that lean fat
Instead of bones chiseled, refined.

(For the record, I have a mini.)

A contour is always alright
But it calls for a lovely highlight
Quickly, I gulped
And proceeded to sculpt
High Beam made my cheeks bolder and bright.


The pretty, low shimmer of High Beam
Leaves your face with a moonlight-like gleam
A pattern of prosody
In new physiognomy
All of this from a silly old cream?

A color that won't look too "eighties"
Will earn much jealousy from your mateys
The light pink-toned hue
Will come softly through.
(It's perfect for cooler-toned ladies.)


Too bad that damn nail polish bottle
Makes the packaging such a debacle
Drip that crap on your face
It'll look nice in place
Still, I wish my tube had a remodel. 

Another quite sad admonition
Is the product's in liquid condition
Cake it on over powder
Your face will turn sour
But on cream it's a fucking magician.



At twenty-six whole bucks a pop
The cost here seems up near the top
At point four five ounces
The price quickly bounces
To a much more desirable stop.

Benefit's High Beam retails for $57.78 per ounce.

Wantable February 2014 Review

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Last month, I had seriously shit Wantable box. I didn't contact customer service because I am a lazy motherfucker and I didn't get around to it. I also fully intended on unsubscribing and just kind of... didn't... I have now unsubscribed and am happy to report that the process was really easy. I clicked a button that says "unsubscribe" and that was the end of it.

Still, since I did get a box for February, I should probably let y'all know how it went, eh?

Here's what I got:


Be a Bombshell "The One Stick" in Southern Belle (full size at 0.26oz), retail value $16


This is the second Be a Bombshell "the One Stick" that I have received from a subscription box; I got the shade 'Flustered' in my December 2013 Ipsy. The product is purported to work for "eyelids, cheeks, or lips", but it's really too greasy to work as anything other than a cream blush. With that said, it's a pretty nice cream blush.


This electric coral-pink is much more wearable than the sunburn red that Ipsy sent me.


Overall, I do really like this product. I contour with a cream product and occasionally highlight with cream products. You work against yourself if you throw a powder blush there in the middle, but I am relatively short on cream blushes. Still, gorgeous color aside, I'm necessarily sure that this is particularly special...

Girlactik Beauty Heaven's Dust in Angel Gold (full size at 0.16oz), retail value $16


I assume that this product was sent to me because I said I like highlighters, but this isn't really a highlighter. It's definitely more of a facial/body glitter, though it's a little classier than the body glitter you might have purchased in the early 1990s. The powder is a warm light gold with iridescent white glitter flecks. It's pretty as fuck, unfortunately, practically, it seems to be essentially useless.


On my face, it just kind of looks like I am covered in eyeshadow fallout. It looks like an error. A glittery, unicorn-y error, but an error nonetheless. I have been trying and I seriously can't find anything to do with this.


Be a Bombshell Eyeliner in Teal (full size at 0.1 fl oz), retail value $14


This is another Ipsy repeat-- I got Onyx from Ipsy in October 2012. This is a pen-style liquid liner. Although it's labeled "teal", it is really more of an emerald color. Weirdly, "Teal" is not on the Be a Bombshell website, but "emerald" is. I don't know if they spontaneously realized that they should properly label their products and changed the name, or if they discontinued the teal color. One of my biggest problems with Wantable is a tendency to send discontinued, old, or spoiled products, so I'm more suspicious than your average bear when something is not available from the manufacturer.


I do love felt top eyeliners, and this one is relatively lovely. It's a chunky tip, which can be great for cat eyes and all that jazz. The saturation on this product is pretty excellent, also. Sometimes I feel like you have to really work to get color out of funky shades of eyeliner, and that is not a problem here. It lasts pretty well, too.


Be a Bombshell is a brand that is definitely using beauty subscription boxes to get their name out. I know a lot of people are not exactly in love with their products, but I have had relatively good luck with them. Still, I'm definitely more happy getting these products from a $10 box than a $36 box and I wouldn't pay full retail price for them. It's more of a "If I get them, I'll use them" sort of scenario.

Dex New York Cosmetics Lipstick in Court Street Apricot (full size at 0.12oz), retail value $22


This is a brand that I had never heard of, which is relatively exciting! The lipstick packaging has a New York skyline on it, which is kind of snazzy. If it was etched into the side of the lipstick tube, I would be pretty much in love with the aesthetics. (Unfortunately, the tube itself is just bland silver.)


The actual product is a soft coral color. It's very moisturizing and feels lovely (almost like a lip balm). Sadly, it doesn't go on in a flattering manner. The pigment winds up in the creases of my lips and any imperfections are highlighted.


Because the packaging feels really luxe, I actually gave this product quite a few chances because it just seemed like it shouldn't be patchy and weird. Every time I thought, "maybe it is actually good?" and every time it just wasn't.

Total Box Value: $68.00

This isn't a bad value and, certainly, if I loved everything, it would be great. Unfortunately, at a $36 per month pricepoint, Wantable has to bat a pretty high average to be worth it. If I wasn't already dissatisfied, I wouldn't have canceled after this box... but here we are.

What's more, it's a bummer, but all signs point to the idea that things won't be getting better any time soon. I have been subscribed to Wantable since August and I feel that I need to point out a downward trend in the values of the boxes:


August 2013: $91.81
September 2013: $98.78
October 2013: $83.99
November 2013: $77.99
December 2013: $81.48
January 2014: $45.05
February 2014: $68.00

At the start of my time with Wantable, we were at five items with samples. Now, boxes contain four products, no samples.

I do have a few positive things to say about Wantable, disgruntlement aside. The biggest is that they take customer service very seriously. They have reached out to me via email when I have written negative reviews to apologize and give me more info about the returns process (I haven't taken them up on it because lazy), when I have received products I said that I "disliked", they have sent me more suitable replacements in my next box (not for that terrible lipgloss wheel, though. Hmmm.), and I know that people have luck emailing them and just requesting shit (e.g. "I like this. Can you send me it?"

Based on the customer service (and my love of things like tights), I did actually consider subscribing to their 'Intimates' box... buuuuuuut I was unhappy with their "size" survey and that sort of put me off the whole thing. They don't include my bra size as an option (they go from 32-bands to 44-bands in cups A-DD. I wear a smaller band size and bigger cup size than that.) which would be fine... except that they don't give you the option to say, "None of these are my bra size." That might sound like a trivial reason not to subscribe, especially since I definitely don't expect the very few companies that make bras in my size to be randomly donating shit to Wantable and I really just want fancy socks, but there it is. I don't want to make up a random bra size and just pretend that it is my bra size when it is not.


Here's my face, featuring all of the products from my February 2014 Wantable box:


Not leaving you with a referral link because I unsubscribed. I totally have faith in your ability to find the website on your own, if you do decide to subscribe.

Terrible Tutorials: How To Do Your Eyeshadow Exactly the Same Every Day But Pretend You Didn't

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I get a lot of requests for eyeshadow tutorials. Usually, people ask something along the lines of, "Will you do a tutorial for this look?"This look. Just this one.

Luckily for you all, I pretty much do my eyeshadow exactly the same every single day. I use different palettes and colors, but the mechanics are pretty much identical. I'm going to go ahead and talk about my basic eyeshadow look, how I achieve it, and how I modify on it to do 99.9% of all the eyeshadow that you guys ever see from me.

You should start with your face. This is mine:


Obviously, I've already done a fair bit of makeup. Everything but my eye makeup is ready to go. Some people like to do their eyeshadow first because they find it is easier to get rid of fallout. For me, my eye makeup is always the last step. I find it difficult to put eyeshadow under my eyes if I haven't done concealer yet. Also, I usually do my makeup in a rush to get out the door, and eye makeup is something I don't mind skipping if I run out of time. Both ways are just fine; do whatever works for you.

I figured I would go ahead and give y'all all the products I am going to use in the tutorial below. Obviously, if you want to do your makeup precisely the same way that I do it, you should probably use these exact products. However, that's not necessarily my intention for this tutorial. You can use whatever products you have. You can use neutral eyeshadow or you can use brights. Seriously. Use whatever you want.

Product list:
MAC 239 Eye Shader Brush
MAC 219 Pencil Brush
MAC 217 Blending Brush
LORAC Behind the Scenes Eye Primer
LORAC Pro Palette
Urban Decay 24/7 Eye Pencil in Perversion
Eveline Cosmetics Eyeliner Pen in Deep Black
Soho New York Eyeliner Brush
100% Pure Fruit Pigmented Mascara in Black Tea

I definitely recommend beginning by finding a well lit area so you can really see what you are doing. Natural light is the best light for any sort of makeup application. If you don't have natural light, you can always use a makeup mirror that imitates it.


Personally, I use an Ott-Lite Dual Sided Makeup Mirror that has been discontinued (which is a bummer, because it is an awesome mirror).

Next, you want to grab your brushes. If you don't wash your brushes every day, they are probably dirty. So, let's fix that.


My strategy is to rub them against a piece of toilet paper until they are relatively clean. There is a roll of toilet paper that lives on my vanity just for this purpose.

Having clean brushes prevents your colors from getting muddied up by whatever crap you used yesterday.


Now, it's time to actually put something on your mug: primer! LORAC Behind the Scenes Eye Primer is a favorite of mine, so that is what I am using.


This is approximately the amount of primer that I use to do both eyes, up to my eyebrows, including under my eyes:


I put it on with my finger. (One of the best makeup tools out there.) Be sure to apply it in a thin layer up as high as your eyeshadow will go (or up to your eyebrow, to be safe)...


...and under your eye, at least on the outer corner. If you intend to have eyeshadow there, go ahead and put primer there. (That includes the eyeshadow mustache you were totally going to give yourself.)

(P.S. If you are using a base, such as NYX's Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk, this is the time to use it. Make a mark and use your finger to blend it all over your eye so that it is even. This is excellent for bright colors, but unnecessary for the neutrals I am using at the moment.)


Eyeshadow time! Are you PUMPED? I'm pumped.

I picked the LORAC Pro palette because using it is as if angels have alighted on my eyelids. However, you can use any eyeshadow that you like. This tutorial is going to have three colors: a light color, a medium color, and a dark color. You can amp up the drama by using a really wide range of colors (e.g. white, pink, and black), or do a work-appropriate look by keeping them in the same range (e.g. cream, light brown, and taupe). You can use really bright colors (e.g. neon pink, purple, and blue), neutrals, or anything in between.


I start with my lightest color. I'm using 'Champagne'.


I use my MAC 239 brush to apply it to the inner half of my eye or so, up to the crease.


I also use the same brush to put a little on the inside corner of my eye. You might want to use a more precise brush for this, but fuck it, I live dangerously.


Next, you can choose a lid color. I'm using "Gold".


I use my 239 again to do the outer half-or-so of my eye. I overlap the lighter color and blend them together a little bit.


Here is how my face looks thus far:


Onward ho! Time for the crease. I picked "Garnet". AND I SWITCHED UP MY MOTHERFUCKING BRUSH. Drop 239 and switch for your pencil brush, 219.


Basically, I jus draw a line where the crease of my eye is. (Note: if you have monolids, you might need to "fake a crease" by going above your natural crease.)


Sometimes, I also fill in a little bit of the edge of my outer corner, as well. This helps define an outer 'V' shape. You can skip this on softer looks.


At this point, I look terrible, because blending is important:


I also use my pencil brush to smudge some of my darkest shade ('Garnet', in this case) on the outer half of my bottom eyelids.


Now let's blend that shit out. I break out the MAC 217 out...


...and make soft, short brushstrokes that look like this:


Blending is where people make the most eyeshadow mistakes, so this is where you need to be the most careful. Keep blending until the edges of your shadow look gradual and lovely. If you are finding it really tricky, I recommend dipping the very, very tip of your 217 into your shadow and using that to get more blendyness going on. (This can also help you extend out your eye looks when you are going for superdrama.) Don't forget to blend under your eye:


Now, your eyeshadow (hopefully) looks something like this:



That is the end of the actual eyeshadow part of this tutorial, but, hell. You made it this far. May as well follow along to the end, eh?

I use Urban Decay's Perversion to tightline.


Basically, you tightline by smudging liner into the base of your lashes from below, making them look very thick.


Then, I do a wing (unless I feel like skipping one for the day!). Any liquid or gel liner that isn't terrible should be able to pull this off.


I can do an eyeliner tutorial in the future if you need it, but I promise that there are a bazillion tutorials online for you to follow.


I also like smudging a little matte black eyeshadow into my eyeliner using a liner brush, just for good measure.



Then, mascara. Any one you like.



Bottom lashes, too.


OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS. YOU ARE ALL DONE.

Here is the final look:



Do you feel incomplete? Do you feel like you need more examples? Well, luckily for you, something like 99% of the pictures on this blog feature an eyeshadow routine that is very close to this one. So, go check them out!

Although you can easily get into an eyeshadow rut if you do your shadow the same sort of way every day, the upside is that you get very good at it, and you get good at doing it quickly. And, happily, very few people actually seem to notice that you really just did the same damn thing with different colors.

Birchbox February 2014 Review

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Snow dances in my region have been far too effective. Perhaps it is time to replace them with a "Birchbox dance" in which we all wiggle around in inside-out pajamas in hopes that we'll get something valuable in our monthly subscription boxes.

Here's what came for me this month:


Coola Tinted Matte Mineral Sunscreen SPF30 For Face (0.17 fl oz), approximate retail value $3.60


I have had pretty mixed results with tinted Coola products, which seem to vary anywhere from "somewhat Robyn-colored" to "this is the right color match for a bottle of Fanta". Luckily, this falls into the former category. The shade is perfectly light, although it definitely leans too yellow for me! (It doesn't matter, though, since I slather on a thick coat of foundation right on top.)



This product also seems to be having a bit of an identity crisis. Is it a bb cream? A sunscreen? Something else entirely? To me, it covers like a very, very sheer tinted moisturizer. The texture, though, is a little funky. It's a little greasy with a bit of graininess to it. No big deal, but not something I'd buy myself.


Ruby Wing Color Changing Nail Polish in Kitten Heels (0.25 fl oz), approximate retail value $5.00


I swear, I really do believe that this product does, actually change color. There is a viable mechanism by which color changing cosmetics work (they utilize photochromic pigments, like the sort used on 'transition' lenses that darken into sunglasses when you go outside). In theory, this should change from a highlighter pink to a red color.

Unfortunately, I am an indoor kind of lady. I stood outside in the cold, hoping my nails would change color, for a solid three minutes before deciding, "This is ridiculous" and going back inside. IT IS WINTER. MY FINGERS BELONG TWO INCHES FROM MY SPACE HEATER, NOT OUTSIDE.

The formula otherwise seemed fine. It's just that I am too impatient to wait for any color change effect, so I haven't witnessed it.

Beauty Protector Protect and Oil (estimated size 0.2 fl oz), estimated retail value $1.30


I am not sure that I have a good use for hair oil, but, nevertheless, I went ahead and coated my ludicrous locks with a layer. The good news is that it didn't make my hair look greasy! The bad news is that it didn't look like much of anything happened, at all.

Smashbox Cosmetics Full Exposure Mascara (0.14oz), approximate retail value $7.18


I like the idea that Smashbox is being sent out by Birchbox, even though I wasn't digging the samples I got in this box. This mascara is pretty much the most generic mascara I have ever used. It's definitely a length-over-volume mascara, but it's not good enough at pumping up length to be actually impressive.


A quick before-and-after:

No Mascara


Smashbox Full Exposure


One more time!

No Mascara


Smashbox Full Exposure


The final effect looks perfectly nice. There's nothing wrong with it. Still, it took approximately 800 million coats of mascara to get where I wanted to go and, even then, it wasn't anything mind-blowing. There are better mascaras in this price range!

Smashbox Full Exposure Palette (estimated size 0.001oz), estimated retail value $0.10


This last sample was super shitty. Cardboard samples aren't an effective way to actually try out a product. Essentially, this is an advertisement for the new Smashbox Full Exposure palette.


The sample contained ten shades from the Smashbox Full Exposure Palette. This kind of baffled me, since the Full Exposure Palette only contains 14 shades. Why not go for the whole hog?

The palette is divided into glitterbombs:


...and mattes:


I will say that I did swatch this palette in person and found that the swatches that I got from the sample were pretty accurate. (So at least that may be a little helpful for those of you who received this product as a sample.)

The biggest issue is simple pigmentation. The shimmers are all very weakly pigmented and the mattes vary from "very nice" to "pretty crappy".

Weirdly, though, (and I have NO GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THIS), I don't hate the palette. I don't know why I don't hate it. Logically, I should hate it. But I don't. I think the biggest upside is that it is a total dream to work with. The pigmentation is crap, but it blends well!

Smashbox Full Exposure Palette on Human Face
Regardless, though, there's no way I would pay $49 for this. Definitely no. BUT... if I found it marked down 50% for some mysterious reason, I might pick it up.

Total Box Value: $17.18

Overall, I have a big ol' shrug for this month's Birchbox. It was neither awful nor stellar. Still, the Birchbox points system easily makes up for these so-so boxes, so I'm definitely not grumbling too loudly.

If joining Birchbox will fill your life with joy and fairy dust, you are always welcome to use my Birchbox referral link by clicking here

Ipsy February 2014 Review

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Ipsy has the most distinctive mailing packaging out of anything that I order online. If you see a postal service worker with a metallic pink padded envelope, it's got to be either Ipsy or really indiscreetly packaged sex toys.

Here's what I got from Ipsy this month:


Jesse's Girl Eye Color Collection Palette in the Eyes Have It (full size at 0.22oz), retail value $3.99



A $3.99 eyeshadow palette can be anywhere from a tragedy to a cause for celebration. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this Jesse's Girl palette is right in between.

Ipsy sent out all four of the Jesse's Girl Color Collection Palettes and, based on what I am seeing elsewhere, it appears that 'the Eyes Have It' is one of the better ones. Still, I definitely wouldn't pay more than the $3.99 pricetag for this little bugger.


The Eyes Have It is a mix of greens, blues, and browns, all of which have a relatively frosty finish. From left to right, it contains a light, grassy yellow-green; a silvery sky blue; a "the color I imagine that the ocean is in Hawaii" turquoise; a darker-but-still-yellow-leaning green; an olive-y bronze; a camo green; a forest green; a dark brown with a shitload of gold in it (the most pigmented of the lot); and a warm, medium brown.


The pigmentation is... okay. You can actually build it up to look pretty nice if you have a really good primer and use a white base like NYX's Milk for intensity. Given that the product is coming out to an incredibly inexpensive $18.14 per ounce, I don't think you can reasonably ask for much better. Still, I think that people who have higher quality tools are going to get a much better effect out of it than someone who is just starting out. (I mean, that's probably always true, but it's especially true for an iffy product like this.)


If you are comfortable with your eyeshadow game, this is a totally acceptable not-really-impulse-because-you-are-reading-reviews impulse buy.

Pop Beauty Plump Pout in Peony Petal (0.14oz), approximate retail value $7.47



For some reason, I was expecting this to be a lipgloss. I was really bummed when I saw that I was getting it, since 1. I don't like lipgloss and 2. The majority of the products that I have tried by Pop Beauty have been terrible.



Happily, this turned out to be more like a lip lacquer than a gloss. It's not fully opaque, but it is very pigmented, with no stickiness. The Pop Beauty website says that the product "combines the high-shine of a lacquered gloss with the long wear of a stain". That's just pretty much not true; the product isn't long lasting at all. BUT it's pretty and very, very wearable. It is comfortable on my lips and the effect is nice, even if I have to re-apply more than I might hope.



The color is sort of a cotton candy rose, if such a thing were to exist.

J Cat Beauty Eyelashes in EL13, retail value $3.99



I hate the aesthetic of these types of lashes, so I'm not sure that I can give the fairest review. For some reason, someone decided that random-ass gaps in the middle of your falsies is a good idea. I don't know. I don't know why you would do this. To me, it's bizarre.


There's nothing wrong with these lashes, per se, (except perhaps that the band is a little thicker than I might prefer, but it's just not a style of lashes that I would really enjoy wearing because it looks too artificial without bothering to make any sort of statement.

First Aid Beauty Deep Cleanser with Red Clay (1oz), approximate retail value $5.11



Facial cleansers are so fucking boring that I have a really difficult time reviewing them. This does the job, I guess? It's also red in color, so I guess that is vaguely interesting in a really dull sort of way.

Zoya Nail Polish in Dot (full size at 0.5 fl oz), retail value $9.00



Dot is a pastel pink with surprisingly good coverage, given how light it is. With three coats, it's opaque as a motherfucker. If you really gloop on the polish and/or are in a huge rush and don't care that much, two coats will probably do the trick.

Bonus: Benefit High Beam (full size at 0.45 fl oz), retail value $26.00


Benefit's High Beam was my 'bonus' for referring people to Ipsy. I was really excited about this because it is a full-size product, which I wasn't expecting at all, especially from a brand like Benefit, who I tend to really enjoy. I anticipated a mini!


High Beam is a liquid highlighter that I already like and use. My review of the product can be found here.

Total Box Value: $29.56 not including the bonus, $55.56 including the bonus

Here's what it looks like when I use my Ipsy products on my face together:


Why are these eyelashes so silly looking?!
Putting the full-size High Beam aside (which I am ECSTATIC ABOUT), I'm pretty content with this bag. The only real problem is that there were no truly standout products. Nothing that deserves either jumping on the bed or writing in all caps. Most of the stuff that I got was fine. The eyeshadow palette and the lip lacquer, especially, will both get used. The lashes will probably sit on my bathroom counter until they start looking gross and I throw them away. The face wash will go in my giant drawer of face washes. The nail polish will go on my giant shelf of nail polishes. (Seriously, I have no idea why I have so many nail polishes. As anyone who has seen them can attest to, nails aren't really my thing.) If you have less random junk than I do, though, you might be more likely to break out the jazz hands.

If you really want to join Ipsy because of reasons, you are welcome and encouraged to use my referral link by clicking here.

Review: theBalm Balm Voyage Eyeshadow and Lip Palette

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Balm Voyage is one of theBalm's newer makeup palettes, containing 16 eyeshadows and three lip/cheek stains. Although theBalm is billing this as a "travel-friendly" palette, there's really nothing about this gigantic monstrosity of a palette that is going to make for easy lugging around. Maybe theBalm's marketing department and I simply have different definitions of "travel-friendly", but I think that term generally refers to compact packaging that gets you what you need in a small space. This palette is the size of a lab notebook.


Because the palette is a mix of powder and cream products, it is set up in such a way that the powder and cream products open separately, presumably to keep eyeshadow dust out of your lipstick.

Each of the eyeshadows is named for a plane seat position, meaning it's all numbers and letters. I am wavering in between that being "kinda cute" and "kinda lazy".


The palette swings open to reveal a mirror inside of a lady's face, presumably so we can all imagine we would look like as a dirty-blonde white lady. (Side note on the packaging: only white women take vacations?!)


The info on the side of the mirror is a whole new kind of baffling to me. It contains what appears to be passport information... but why was she born in 1953? Let's say she is 20 (which is a pretty low estimate in my opinion). ...She's dressing like this in the 1970s? What?


For your (/my) convenience, this review is split into eyeshadow-y-ness and non-eyeshadow-y-ness.

Eyeshadow


As a general rule, I would say that these eyeshadows are pretty lovely. Although they lean on the powdery side, they are, in general, nicely pigmented and relatively easy to work with.


With only a few exceptions, these shades are neutrals. However, they're dramatically different from the colors you might receive in a traditional neutral palette. I think these shades would be particularly excellent for someone who maybe a little bit bored with their current neutrals palettes, but too intimidated to hit the bright colors just yet.

Here's how they swatched (two swipes, no primer):

From left to right: A4, B4, C4, D4, A3, B3, C3, and D3
A4 is a charcoal gray with turquoise and violet shimmer.
B4 is a shimmery medium-dark brown.
C4 is a dark, brown-leaning red with a shitload of silver shimmer.
D4 is a dark olive green with lovely golden shimmer.
A3 is a bright, metallic silver. (It swatches so beautifully-- it goes on like liquid!)
B3 is a gray-leaning matte mauve. It is one of the weaker shades in terms of pigmentation.
C3 is a matte, sandy brown.
D3 is a metallic dark gold. (This is another particularly gorgeous one.)

From left to right: A2, B2, C2, D2, A1, B1, C1, and D1

A2 is a frosty, cool medium purple with blue shimmer that almost reads as a duochrome.
B2 is a frosty seafoam.
C2 is a dark blue-leaning teal. It almost reads as a matte, but it has a few hunks of blue shimmer in it.
D2 is a lovely peachy pink with a frosty finish. It swatches like butter.
A1 is a frosty mauve. It's another really nice one.
B1 is a manila-folder cream-y beige with a matte finish. This one has great color payoff, but it really, really soft.  It kinda feels like you are dipping your brush into powdered sugar. This makes it a little more tricky to work with.
C1 is a yellow-leaning cream frost.
D1 is a frosty mustard yellow.

The pans are a little inconsistent (with the matte shades being the crappiest), but most of them are perfectly lovely.

Here are some eyeshadow looks that I did with this palette:









Lip and Cheek Stains

One of the big, obvious disadvantages of a palette that is a mix of powder and cream products is that powder gets in the cream and makes it yucky. TheBalm obviously tried to counteract this by creating a separate flap to go over the lip/cheek creams. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work well enough.


Even though I have never used the palette with the lip flap open, the products are coated with a layer of nasty-looking eyeshadow dust.


At least the swatches look pretty when you can dig through the dust:


The first shade I'm going to examine, Second Officer, is a medium red.

On the lips:



On the cheeks:



First Officer, on the other hand, is a light, orange-y coral. It is the most opaque of the three lip/cheek shades.

On the lips:



On the cheeks:



Finally, Captain is a cool-leaning medium pink.

On the lips:



On the cheeks:


Like most two-in-one products, these are a mixed bag. Although the colors are pretty, I think they apply a little patchily to the cheeks, but are too drying and paint-like for my lips.

Despite the things I am grumpy about, I still feel pretty good about this purchase because of the price point. The Balm Voyage palette retails for $42.50 for 1oz of eyeshadow and 0.21oz of the lip and cheek stains. Even if you have no interest in the cream products, that puts the value at a very, very comfortable $42.50 per ounce. If count the cream products, you're at a ludicrously inexpensive $35.12 per ounce. That is absolutely drugstore pricing. (For example, Maybelline Expert Wear Quads are $6.49 for 0.17oz, or $38.18 per ounce.)

I hate the packaging and I don't find the lip/cheek products to be enjoyable. The eyeshadow, though, is pretty lovely and very nicely priced. So the rest? I'll grin and bear it. 

Does a Lip Scrub Really Help With Lipstick Longevity?

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One of the most common tips for stretching the life of your lip products is to use a lip scrub before you apply your color of choice. The gritty exfoliator, proponents claim, will help slough off yucky dead lip skin and goop, allowing your lipstick to adhere more evenly. As a result, throughout the day, it will not flake.

do use a lip scrub, but I don't do so with a whole lot of reliability. I was curious, then, if a lip scrub made as big of a difference as makeup lovers suggest. Should I really make an effort to use one every day? I decided to put it to the test.




Personally, I like the Lush lip scrubs because they are edible, which appeals to both the part of me that is lazy (and thus doesn't want to get tools to wipe the scrub off) and the part of me that is hungry. With that said, you could presumably use any lip scrub on the market or you could make a homemade lip scrub out of brown sugar and olive oil and still get comparable longevity results, even if it doesn't happen to taste like bubblegum. For the test, though, Lush's Bubblegum Lip Scrub was my tool of choice.


(For me, Lush is convenient enough to be worth the $9.95 for 0.8oz, or $12.44 per ounce! It's also worth noting that a lot of more inexpensive options are pricier, ounce per ounce. For example, at $3 for 0.16oz, ELF's Lip Exfoliator is actually more expensive at $18.75 per ounce. Plain old sugar, though, will always be cheaper.)



I debated the best method to test my "lip scrub is helpful" hypothesis because it's likely that different people are asking different things. (Some people might, for example, never wear lipstick and want to know if it will be worth it for that one special gala where they're finally going to break out a red pout. Others might use a lip scrub on the regular and want to know if it's worth it to fit it into their daily routine.)

I decided the easiest way to do a test that is helpful for most interested parties was to use a lip scrub on one side of my mouth and compare it to the other half. Because I have no reason to suspect that I use one half of my mouth more than the other half, and because I worried that scrubbing one day would carry over in helpfulness to the next day, I decided to dedicate one half of my mouth to scrubbing for the entirety of the test, rather than switching from side to side.

Before my test, I did not use a lip scrub for one week. Then, I scrubbed one half of my mouth with a lip scrub and applied lipstick over my whole mouth. I applied in the morning, applied nothing to my mouth for the whole day (P.S. NOT RECOMMENDED. I HEART LIP BALM. DRY LIPS HURT.), and then took a picture of my dried up, unhappy lips eight hours later to see which side of my mouth faired better. The test took three days with three different lipsticks.

In the pictures below, the left side of the picture got the scrub, and the right side did not. Warning: ugly end-of-the-day lip pictures ahead.

Lipstick #1: Bite Beauty High Pigment Pencil in Quince


In terms of color saturation, both the left side and right side of my mouth look pretty similar. On the far right corner of my mouth, there is perhaps slightly more fading than there is on the left corner. The big visible difference is that the right half of my mouth has hunks of dead skin that is unattractively coated in lipstick.

Lipstick #2: MAC Party Parrot


The results here were similar. The most notable fading for the non-lip scrubbed right side was at the corner of my mouth.

Lipstick #3: Kat Von D Everlasting Love Liquid Lipstick in Berlin


The difference here was much more substantial. Although the fading was still concentrated near the corner, if was much more spread out and noticeable. The liquid lipstick format, it appears, is much more sensitive to whether or not a lip scrub is applied.

Still, for all three lipsticks, the side that had been scrubbed down had less fading and looked generally more visually appealing due to lack of lip gunk polluting the view. The corners of my mouth and the top of my bottom lip were the most affected regions. I feel comfortable, then, concluding that lip scrubs do extend the life of your lipstick, although the effects may be more or less pronounced for certain types of lip colors.

Review: Covergirl LashBlast Clump Crusher Mascara, Water-Resistant, Black

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About a year ago, Clump Crusher was released, with much fanfare. Apparently, the internet unilaterally decided that it was the BEST MASCARA EVER OH MY GOD YOUR LASHES WILL BE LIKE FEMININE, CURVY TREE TRUNKS AHHHHH. Recently, with the ringing endorsement of everyone who has ever been online still rolling around in my head, I decided that maybe I should actually purchase this motherfucker on the off chance that I'd Knights Templar this shit and find the Holy Grail.

Sadly, it was not to be.


The name "Clump Crusher" apparently refers to the mascara's inability to clump. To me, it sounds like the name of a really bad, D-list superhero. The "Green Jello" shade of the tube itself, though, is oddly enticing. It encases a moderately curvy brush.

Overall, I feel that the formula gives not-a-lot of a volume and a medium amount of length, which is pretty typical of relatively dry mascaras (which this is). Thankfully, even the waterproof formula is relatively easy to remove. It's totally adequate, but it's nothing to choreograph an elaborate jig about.

My biggest problem with this mascara is actually something that is kind of my fault. Clump Crusher comes in four colors: 'brown', 'brown-black', 'black', and 'very black'. Retrospectively, I should have purchased 'very black', but I purchased regular old 'black' instead, assuming (silly me) that it would, in fact, be black. Well, it's actually gray. Like, really gray. Like, "the color of a British shorthair kitten" gray. Silver lining: if you're looking for a gray mascara, guess what? I found one for you!


Here's a "before and after" of Clump Crusher.

No Mascara:


Clump Crusher:


One more time!

No mascara:


Clump Crusher:


You can see, it doesn't look terrible or anything. It's just "not terrible or anything" isn't a very high standard for mascara-wearing, in my book.

Luckily, I have found one thing that I really do like it for: If you have any gloopy, gooey, so-wet-they-feel-like-undercooked-brownie-dough mascaras, I find that this works really well underneath them. A few layers of Clump Crusher to separate and add length and then a few layers of miscellaneous oozy-goo mascara to add oomf (I guess I'm just not using real words today) helps prevent spider lashes from the wetter mascara, but gives more drama than Clump Crusher does on its own.

Or, you know, you could just buy a mascara that doesn't need so much help...

Covergirl Clump Crusher retails for $8.99 for 0.44 fl oz, putting it at $20.43 per ounce.

Review: BareMinerals True Romantic Collection Blush in Swoon

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The entire BareMinerals True Romanic collection has a certain je ne sais quoi that makes you want to put flowers in your hair and ride naked on a horse (just kidding. That last idea is terrible. How about eating gelato while laying in bed instead?). In particular, the rose gold packaging has something really lovely about it.


Swoon is the collection's loose blush. It's a warm, medium coral-pink that applies more-or-less matte.

Like all BareMinerals loose blushes, this has a fancy little twisty-sifter that you can, in theory, use to prevent yourself from pouring pink powder all over your lap.


The texture of this blush is very soft and silky, and the slight clumps that are visible in the jar are imperceptible once the product hits your brush. It blends on your skin perfectly.


The ultimate effect is a super youthful flush.

BareMinerals Swoon on Human Face

Although I like the blush overall, I do think that there is one noteworthy problem.

I think that, in general, loose powders tend to look like they contain a lot more product than pressed powders. Consequentially, I do think that it's common for brands to just make smaller products. The purchaser just gets less. (I think that this also plays into consumer perceptions as well; I often hear in indie makeup communities that indie eyeshadows are supposedly much cheaper than other shadows, when they tend to price out very similarly, ounce per ounce.) BareMinerals definitely plays into this by making their powder products itty bitty. In addition, the packaging tends to be unnecessarily bulky.

Consequentially, this blush is astronomically expensive when it it priced out by the ounce. At $19 for 0.03 ounces, this is almost comically pricey at $633.33 per ounce. This product may be lovely, but I'm having a hard time justifying why it's so much more lovely than the gadgillion other blushes that I have for way more reasonable prices.

Random Sample Grab Bag: Perfume Reviews Part 5

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It's "Robyn is a perfume sample hoarder" time again!

Bvlgari Omnia Crystalline Eau de Toilette. $65 for 1.3 fl oz ($50 per fl oz)




This perfume smells like a really soft, generic, not-very enthusiastic lily. Perhaps it is a lily that has given up on life and is ready for a slow, rotting death.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Ophelia from Hamlet by Shakespeare, near the beginning of the play when she is forbidden from seeing Hamlet by Laertes. 

Cartlier Baiser Volé Eau de Parfum. $103 for 1.6 fl oz ($64.38 per fl oz)




...and this is that same lily after it has been rotting a few days. The lily scent is strongly there, but it's paired with some very sour notes. It definitely smells nice (it doesn't smell like mold or anything), but there's a definite sharpness to it.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Ophelia from Hamlet by Shakespeare, as she commits suicide. 

Clean First Blush Eau de Toilette. $59 for 2.14 fl oz ($27.57 per fl oz)



This is a musky white tea scent with the smell of leaves. True to the brand's form, though, it definitely smells like something you might be really excited about in a laundry detergent.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Monica from Friends

Dolce & Gabbana Intense Eau de Parfum. $93 for 1.6 fl oz ($58.13 per fl oz)



This has a spicy vanilla scent, more like the homemade vanilla extract you make from vodka and vanilla beans than the one you might find at the store. There's also a hint of orange creamsicle in there. Although that description sounds really tame and sugary, there's definitely some really strong kickass personality to this scent.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Tiana from Princess and the Frog (2009)

Hanae Mori HiM Eau de Toilette (For Dudes). $74 for 1.7 fl oz ($43.53 per fl oz)




This scent smells like a shitload of pepper and woodiness. Strong smells aside, it's still very mild and wearable.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Doc from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937)

Hugo Boss Boss Bottled Night Eau de Toilette. $60 for 1.6 fl oz ($37.50 per fl oz)




This perfume smells like freshly cut firewood and lemongrass.

As a side note, my boyfriend saw me sniffing this and said, "Are you wearing a perfume by the people who made Nazi uniforms...?"

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be the woodsman from Little Red Riding Hood


Marc Jacobs Daisy Eau de Toilette. $75 for 1.7 fl oz ($44.12 per fl oz)





This is a very sweet-smelling perfume, but not in a sickly or artificial way. It smells like a homemade strawberry jam pot de creme.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation

Marni Eau De Parfum. $106 for 2.2 fl oz ($48.18 per fl oz)



There's something about this perfume that's very sharp and green, like it's going to poke your eye with a stick. There's a hint of a rose-y smell, but it's quickly overwhelmed by the greenness, as if you stuck your nose in a Baronne Prevost, got a whiff of confirmation bias, and realized the whole thing was just a stem after all.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Petra Arkanian from the Ender's Game series by Orson Scott Card. 

Prada Luna Rossa Eau de Toilette. $62 for 1.7 fl oz. ($36.47 per fl oz)



To me, this smells like cheap scents you get in Christmas gift baskets from distant relatives who don't know you in which the scent is entitled "Ocean Breeze".

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be any wizard pretending to be a muggle in the Harry Potter series by J. K. Rowling. 

TokyoMilk Dark Tainted Love No.62 Eau de Parfum. $36 for 1.6 fl oz ($22.50 per fl oz)




Although the gothic TokyoMilk aesthetic really appeals to me (I love the packaging, the pricing, and the themes equally), the perfume is just not very complex. It just smells like vanilla. The end. It's like the goth kid in high school who made you realize that still waters don't always run deep. The gothic kid who secretly wanted to be popular the whole time.

If this scent were being worn by a fictional character, it would be Allison Reynolds from The Breakfast Club (1985). 
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